A teacher of Portuguese as a mother tongue, polytechnic high school, Brazil  

 4th May 2020 

Life before Covid-19  

I teach the Portuguese language and literature at a three-year federal high school in my city. My students are between 15-17 years old and mostly live in the city, but a number of them come from small villages and these usually get free boarding if they meet specific socioeconomic criteria and pass the entrance exam. I had to be in the school all day from 7am to 5pm. I taught 22 classes per week, had 4 hours per week for meetings with students and the remaining hours for planning and staff meetings. The school has about 1,000 students and there are about 40 students in each of my classes. My social life was more focussed on the weekends, I used to eat out, go to the movies or go for walks with my friends most of whom are also teachers and have the same working hours as me. I like working with teenagers and have been doing this for over 10 years. They are energetic, enthusiastic, sometimes it’s not easy because they have too much energy! But I like to be with them.  

How life has changed because of Covid-19 

Our classes were suspended on March 18th. That was the last day I went to school and met with students. We had one week to plan online lessons. One week to learn how to do it and the following Monday we started online teaching. But the classes are likely to be cancelled altogether. The school is worried because a number of students do not have access. We have tried everything. Teachers wanted to lend their own laptops and are donating money so students can buy sim cards for their phones. But there is no connection. Internet is expensive, sim cards have limited data and some students live far away.  

We are teaching, but we are not teaching everybody. It’s a small number, but it’s a number and they are being excluded 

We wanted to ask some students to go there, but you’re not allowed to do that. We had a vote. Most students voted to keep the classes going. So did the teachers. We want to teach. The students are worried about going to university. And they said it’s good to have classes. They are anxious, depressed, they are stuck at home, but with classes, they feel they have something important to do. We are worried about exclusion. We are teaching, but we are not teaching everybody. It’s a small number, but it’s a number and they are being excluded. It’s not that they do not want to. It’s that they can’t. As a teacher, I have this concern, this dilemma. I would like to keep going with online classes, but at the same time, I feel bad because I know that some people are not able to be a part of that. I think this is the worst part when you are trying hard but some are not able to be there. Private schools are doing ok. But state schools are struggling, we simply can’t figure out what to do. And at this point, we are afraid that lots of people will die not because they have the virus, but because they’re starving. We know that some students are facing difficult times. Schools stopped, all my students and their siblings are at home, some parents are not able to work; they’re not bringing any money. There’s lots of fundraising led by celebrities and others. Because our main fear is not the virus, it’s the hunger.  

Emerging opportunities 

Before Covid-19, I used YouTube, zoom, google for social purposes, but never for work. So it was a challenge to learn. And it was a big challenge for the students too. Most had used digital technologies, but only for fun, not for study. Some of my older colleagues who are near retirement were even more desperate.  

We had to learn how to help each other 

We all had only one week to prepare and we were like: I’m not prepared, I don’t know what to do! But teachers did their best to help each other. They gave tutorials on how to use google meets for synchronous classes, how to use google classroom, how to create a YouTube channel. We didn’t use to work together like this before. We had to learn how to help each other. I didn’t know a lot of this stuff and had to learn from colleagues. I was afraid, but now I feel more comfortable and I’m happy because I can see progress. And I want to keep on using these new skills when we come back. This has been good. And the time and energy I have saved by not having to commute to work. I have been studying, learning, taking time to read about these things, like inclusion, digital literacies. So it was good to have time to stop and think about these things. Last week I prepared a questionnaire for the students because I want to collect data with them, to have their impressions of what’s good, what’s bad about studying online. Also, I like working with teenagers, but some of it is stressful, I can’t deny it! I have some difficult groups who would not engage in classes at all. And for these groups, online working turns out to be much better. Normally, these students would just sit there in their chairs, but their minds would not be there. And now, they need to do something. And they do!  

Future fears and hopes  

We have two perspectives. The optimistic one is that by July we’ll get back to school. The pessimists say we won’t get back before September. And I think that teaching online is ok for a while. But if it goes on until September, it may be too much. The students will they lose their motivation, their concentration; their autonomy.  

So what’s the point of evaluation? That’s what I’m trying to understand now 

And I don’t know what will happen to evaluations. I have to mark students’ work, but how can I assess them when they are at home, and they can easily find the answers, they look on the internet, they whatsapp their friends, they can cheat. So what’s the point of evaluation? That’s what I’m trying to understand now. They need grades. But what should I do about the grades? It’s ok for now, but if this goes on till September, we will need to think about assessment. I adjusted my syllabus and am now teaching what I think is easier for the students. But I left the most difficult stuff for when we’re back. My worry is that the students will struggle to understand these difficult things with only a few weeks left before classes finish in December.  

I know the classes are not the same, but at least I know that I am helping them. I feel better trying to help than not doing anything at all 

A colleague said at a staff meeting, ‘We pretend we are teaching and the students pretend they are learning’, and this sentence has stuck with me. He thinks it’s fake. And this is the teacher who wants us to stop classes. He has a point. The students also say that teaching in this way is not the same thing. That it’s not a real class. And the learning is not real. But I did vote to keep the classes. I feel bad that it’s not for everybody, especially because I know them. It’s personal. I know them, they are nice people, they are sweet, kind. But there’s a huge number of students who would not be able to achieve their dream to get into a university. So I know the classes are not the same, but at least I know that I am helping them. I feel better trying to help than not doing anything at all.  

I hope they will have time to reflect that they have privilege, that they are in a position that they should value and use it to help others 

I know I will get back as a better teacher with more abilities and new understandings of the learning process. And the students, they now tell me that they miss their classes, that they miss having to wake up at 5am, taking three buses to get to school. It’s the things that they complained about! So I hope they will give more value to what they have. I think they will be crazy to make up for the time lost, they will study harder, they will take more responsibility for their learning. Some of them tell me that they didn’t know there were students in their class who didn’t have wifi at home. So I hope they will have time to reflect that they have privilege, that they are in a position that they should value and use it to help others.